Well, so in this post, I am making up for a little lost time. These first three drawings were done on Oct. 7, two weeks prior to the time of this posting, and the rest of the drawings were created on Oct. 21. (My Uncle’s B-day!)
While I do think that there’s tons of stuff that’s awkward about these drawings, you know some of the proportions are off and so on, but there is a feeling that is starting to emerge from within the process of drawing.
Some of this feeling can be attributed to just making drawings for a long time, in other words, confidence is starting to seep into the work. That’s a slippery slope right? Certainly I don’t want to become over-confident, or over-confident’s cousins, arrogance and ol’ big head. There’s no faster way to kill a drawing than a huge dose of ego. That being said, there is a feeling of… “goodness” that is happening during the process of drawing, a certain sense that the pressure is off, and the drawing is happening for the love of drawing. Because through this looking and observing there comes an understanding, or if not that at least an effort to understand what is being drawn.
I feel like I am approaching the room that my first figure drawing teacher told me about. He didn’t call it a room, he didn’t call it a state of mind (although it is both of those), he simply uttered 4 words into my ear when he saw that I was struggling, trying to make the drawing just so perfect that I was all locked up, he looked over my shoulder and whispered in my ear, “Just fuck it up.”
Now, it’s taken reams of paper and years of drawing to begin to approach that place. From where I’m at it is a place where there’s no hesitation, a deliberateness of mark making, a facility and a joy of drawing. A place where the judgement is suspended, and there’s no time or space for self doubt. In short a place and a time where Fear has no place; Fearlessness. Who hasn’t at some point had to enter a situation and had to put fear off to the side and just do it the best way you know how. It’s a powerful place to come from. I don’t know if it’s a place we ever fully arrive at, there may still be those nagging critics in the back of our minds, but it’s as good a place as any to aim for, and that’s all we can do.